Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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