Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
