Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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