I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
