he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
