new low.... made out with someone while peeing
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Your cock deserves a montage
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
