She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
