so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
No subtext here. People are naked.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just had sex on a roof
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
