Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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