Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
