So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
