What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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