all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
NoShamevember. You game?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
