nutella sex= disaster
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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