this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i wish my penis had a tongue
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
