I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
