Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize