omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
