Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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