it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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