I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize