I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
