I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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