I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
