i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
