i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
