Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
