Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
50% drunk capacity currently
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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