Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
