would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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