I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
