apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
