I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
