i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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