So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
