I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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