his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
