i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
