tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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