turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
