Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
