You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
