the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
