I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
