He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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