only you would photoshop your dick
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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