you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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