Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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