I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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