I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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