i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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