just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize