Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
