Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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