Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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