So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
