Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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