Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Randomize
