Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I got her a Nickelback box set.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
