hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
