problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I think I just sharted jello shots
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