i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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