just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Randomize
