smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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