The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
