i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
it's like heaven, but drunker
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize